Gary Fouse has a crush on me

I already wrote about the saga over at Fousesquawk over a year and a half ago. To briefly sum it up: "conservative" blogger Gary Fouse banned me from commenting on his website due to me being a mean ol' meanie-head who said bad things about him. (In other words, I called him out on his lies and the fact that he can't even define what Global Warming is, even though he's certain that it's not happening.)  I will admit that I still check out his site from time to time, but if I'm honest, I rarely read what he's actually writing. I only click on the links that have comments, as I hope that Siarlys Jenkins, a frequent critic of Fouse) has something amusing to say.  I've even commented a few times using a pseudonym, but that's pretty rare. I realized that there's no point in trying to reason with those who don't understand what reason is in the first place, so there's no point in getting in protracted debates with somebody who's as thick as Fouse.

Turns out that Gary is on to me! Or, at least, he thinks that he is. He recently wrote a post called "Hi Lance!" where he offered the details of somebody who's been visiting his site. Apparently somebody in Lafayette, California has visited his page, and this person works for the Contra Costa County Office of Education. Man, he's really got me! Only I work for the Mt. Diablo Unified School District, and my job site is in Pleasant Hill. And I'm usually not using the computer there at 3:51 on a Friday. And I don't use a Mac.

So yeah, that wasn't me. Do I sometimes check the site while I'm at work? Sure, but only in my down-time. I don't exactly stop a lecture to read Gary's latest posting of George Galloway in a skintight outfit.

Of course, there's his goon squad of Miggie the Misanthrope (stole that term from Siarlys) and Squid, who feel safe in making fun of me, like a Chihuahua who barks at a Rottweiler who's chained to a tree. Apparently, I'm a "Global Warming Nut" which everyone knows, because I write about it so often. I probably must have written about it at least two or three times in the past few years! I'm a NUT! (Apparently, asking people to simply define something before they deny it is a "nutty" thing to do!)

So Gary posts about me, and yet I cannot write a comment because he refuses to approve any of my responses. The really funny thing is that he's scanning through his blog visitors with such meticulous detail. I sometimes check to see where my visitors are coming from, but apparently he likes to know every little detail. And I don't exactly get why it's a big deal that I visit his site. Did he somehow think that by banning my comments, he was banning me from reading the site?

I can only conclude one thing from all of this. Gary is in love with me, and he misses me. Of course, being a married man and a "conservative", he can never admit his undying affection for me. Obviously he must have deep feelings for me, as it's pretty clear that I'm on his mind.  When I emailed him about this, he acted like a woman ex-DEA scorned, and wrote: "...as far as I am concerned, you don't exist."

I don't exist, yet he needs to call me out on his blog for...ummm...reading his blog.

It's okay, Gary. I cannot return your affections, but I will not judge you for your loving me. The best part is that you can feel free to comment on my blog as much as you want. I promise not to delete them, as now I feel much more pity for you than annoyance. I know that you are still hurt about my "Lies and Ignorance at Fousesquawk" because calling people out on their ridiculousness is something you NEVER do. I still stand by what I say, and I invite you to defend yourself any time you wish. Show me I'm wrong, and I'll write "Gary Fouse proves me wrong!"