That ain't Doctor Doom

When it comes to adapting works of literature into motion pictures, one thing I'm not is an absolute purist. I'm probably one of the few English teachers who likes the movie version of Beowulf with Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother. Sure, it took a sharp turn from the plot of the original, but it was clearly commenting on issues that were brought up by the source material. (And let's all be honest and realize that even the 1000 year old version we've read in school isn't really the "original" version of the story either.)

I also don't mind making changes made in adaptations of comic books so long as it's all true to the heart of the original. For instance, X-Men: Days of Future Past changed up all kinds of things from the original story, mixing in all kinds of characters and introducing new subplots. However, with both the comic and movie, you can summarize them the same way: a member of the X-Men has to travel back in time to stop an assassination that triggers a post-apocalyptic future.

So yeah, I don't care if they change stuff around. Movies have different needs from novels and comic books, and changing things often makes sense.

Which brings us to the reboot of The Fantastic Four. I was looking forward to this because they basically loused up the last version of it. (To be honest, I never bothered watching the second one.) It definitely had elements taken right out of the comics, but it basically didn't work very well as a movie itself. It's most egregious sin though was ruining Doctor Doom, one of the best villains of all time. More on that in a minute.

Generally speaking, I avoid complaining about movies before I see them. I didn't jump on the "OMG! No Ben Affleck as Batman!" bandwagon, as I'm more than willing to give Batfleck the benefit of the doubt. I also didn't lose my shit when it was announced that Toby Maguire's Spider-Man would have organic webshooters. When it came to the reboot of The Fantastic Four, I didn't give a hoot that Johnny Storm was going to be played by a black guy. Comics fans can be a passionate bunch, but sometimes it seems more like they hate this stuff than love it based on what you read online. 

However, I'm now officially going to bad-mouth this movie, and it brings it all back to Doctor Doom. He sucked buttnuts in the last incarnation of the character. In this version, I don't even understand why they're calling him Doctor Doom, as I have to wonder if anybody's even read a Fantastic Four comic book. No, I don't care that they give him the more believable name of "Domashev". However, the one thing that's too egregious to ignore is that they're making him into an "very anti-social blogger".

Blogger? Blogger?! BLOGGER?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Doom is the despotic ruler of an entire country! His people have been brainwashed into worshipping him! He's a genius when it comes to science. He's a prodigy when it comes to magic. He knows everything, and it pisses him off like nobody's business that Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards might very well be smarter than him.

He's not a frikken' blogger!

I know, let's make a version of Hamlet where King Claudius is the court's jester instead. Let's make a version of To Kill a Mockingbird where Bob Ewell is simply a guy who jaywalks. Let's make a version of Batman where Batman doesn't obsess over the loss of his parents! (Oh, wait...they did that.) 

Ya know, maybe you can create an interesting villain out of an anti-social blogger. But that's not Doctor Doom. It's something else. Blogging would be beneath Doom. And the man's not just anti-social, he's a complete narcissist, but he actually has the ability to back it up to some extent.

Shoot, I've even had good things to say about Daredevil, but I'm starting to think that unless it gets unbelievable word of mouth and manages to be a good movie (if not necessarily a good Fantastic Four movie) then I just can't see myself actually seeing this in the theaters, and dammit, I saw Green Lantern at the cinema.

The only positive thing I can think of all this comes from what Scott C. Harris had to say, and I paraphrase: hopefully this film will totally bomb and the rights to the FF will revert back to Marvel Studios, and then we can finally stop saying that The Incredibles is the best Fantastic Four movie.