I was at Barnes and Noble today, and I couldn't help but notice a book called Black Belt Patriotism. Who was the author? No, not William Shakespeare! It was none other than Chuck Norris.
Needless to say, (and yet here I am, saying it - or writing it, but if you asked me to say it, I would,) curiosity got the better of me, and I had to take a look at it. Perhaps ol' Walker, Texas Ranger had some unique spin on this country's current situation that we've never heard before.
I couldn't get past the dust jacket. Apparently, the problems with America are that illegal aliens are flooding our country, Islamo-terrorists want to kill us, and "activist" judges aren't interpreting the Constitution in the way that conservatives want them to do it. Oh, and we're driving Da Jeebus (a.k.a. God) out of all of our public institutions. What's even worse, some people have the nerve to question whether there even is an all-powerful magic man in the sky! How crazy is that?
Ugh. Is this book really necessary? I mean, what, are Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, Ann Coulter, Douchebag McFuckface, Assy McAnusburger, and Shitforbrains Q. Pundit-Ass not enough? I don't know, perhaps Chuck Norris actually has a new take on all of those things, but somehow I just don't see it happening.
The thing is, I've actually sat down and watched about half an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger, and there's no way that the man behind that has an IQ that's higher than Cheez Whiz.
I realize that it's hip and retro to like Chuck Norris. I've read the list of things about Chuck Norris, like how his tears cure cancer, but he never cries. It's funny, I'll admit, but he didn't have anything to do with that.
So, screw Chuck Norris.