How to respond?

I was asked recently how I would respond to an obnoxious person at a party who would get right in my face and ask me, "How is your relationship with Jesus Christ?" (My wife asked me, as apparently it happened to a friend of ours just recently, and he was curious as to how I would respond.)

While I'm never as witty on the spot as I am when I have time to think about it, I suppose that here are some possibilities:

• About as good as my relationship with Quetzalcoatl (or insert a god of your choice - just not Heimdall, please).
• How is your relationship with Quetzalcoatl? (Yeah, I know, just a slight variation from the previous one.)
• We're just friends.
• He made sweet love to me last night.
• Who?
• I haven't spoken to him since he killed my dog.
• That zombie carpenter guy? You mean him?
• Wait...did you say Jesus or Jeebus?

That's all I've got so far. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.