In May, my wife and I will have been married for seven years. We've been together for several years before that, bringing the grand total up to well over ten years. (I'm bad with numbers - I want to say twelve, but never trust me when it comes to math.) In all that time, we haven't really had a whole lot of fights. I mean, we've had disagreements. We've had arguments. We've been mad, and we've even shouted at one another. The last thing happens once in a blue moon though, and it tends to not last for very long when it does happen. The bottom line is: we just don't fight very much.
Of course, this isn't and shouldn't be a big deal. After all, we love each other, and if you want a relationship that really lasts, fighting doesn't really help it all that much (although many marriages are able to survive that). Basically, neither one of us likes to fight. I won't speak for Kirsti, but I know for myself that I saw too much fighting between my parents. I really don't want to relive that sort of a thing for my life.
Basically, our fights tend to end pretty quickly because we both hate to fight, and we also hate to stay mad at each other. This means that both of us are willing to apologize and talk to the other so we can smooth out whatever the problem is. So far, it seems to be working out just fine.
What prompted this whole post though was that I've heard a couple times (never really to my face, but always indirectly) that some people think that there's something wrong with a couple that doesn't fight a lot. You know, as though fighting was some sort of prerequisite for a good relationship. Of course, these comments always seem to come from somebody who's in a relationship that involves a lot of fighting, and I suppose that they need to feel better about that somehow.
Still...what a thing to say, huh? Now, I can understand how a couple might not necessarily be happy simply because they don't fight a lot. After all, the reason for it may simply be because the two don't really communicate at all, and they tend to shut each other out. That would certainly be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Still, Kirsti and I talk to one another. We sit and have dinner together (with the TV off) almost every night and talk. We also like to spend time together. When I say that I don't want to be around anybody on the weekend, I'm obviously not including my wife. We've also have always had a good time traveling together, as we tend to not get on one another's nerves.
The thing is, I've been around plenty of bickering couples in my day. They can have it. If not fighting several times a week means that there's something wrong with our relationship, I guess I'm just going to have to (gladly) live with that.