Breakfast! - Trix are for kids!

In yesterday's Cereal Mascot-A-Day blog post, I addressed the injustice of Lucky, of Lucky Charms fame, having to constantly worry about a mob of immoral thieves running off with what was rightfully his. Today, I want to talk about a far greater injustice, one that we were taught to simply accept as children. We were so brainwashed by it that we were even given a little slogan to justify our atrocities - "Tricks are for kids". Have a look:



Notice how the rabbit has to assume some sort of disguise in order to enjoy a sample of Trix cereal. When he thinks about it, he gets so excited that his rabbit ears are revealed, which causes the child to take away the cereal from him. After that, the commercial has the audacity to show some stickers that one can get when they buy Trix cereal - stickers that the rabbit obviously will never get to enjoy, as apparently when it comes to Trix, rabbits need not apply.

Am I the only one who sees the injustice here? The Trix Rabbit sponsors the product! His image is used to sell it! No doubt his name was changed in order to become "The Trix Rabbit". And yet, he isn't allowed to even have any? I don't know about you, but it's clear to me that the makers of Trix cereal are not above using slave labor to sell their products, and make no mistake, that's exactly what this is.

It shouldn't be too surprising, as cereals have always done their part to encourage immorality on the part of children. I already wrote about how Lucky Charms encourages thievery, and now you know about how Trix encourages slavery and discrimination. Well, what about "The Cap'n" from Cap'n Crunch? That's a guy who takes a bunch of children on a boat. Not only does his name encourage bad grammar, but it's pretty clear that he's a pedophile. And don't get me started on that Froot Loops bird and how he encourages kids to believe in the lie that is evolution.

When Da Jeebus finally comes back and all the scores are settled, you can rest assured that the kids who refused the rabbit some Trix will be burning in hell as the Rabbit eats his Trix up in heaven - provided that he's saved, that is.