Saturday, January 12, 2013

Just be a dad, dammit!

Little known fact:  Once the baby is born, the father can do almost all of the same stuff as the mother can do.  No, this isn't going to be one of those blog posts where a man moans and groans about how tough he has it in this CLEARLY oppressively matriarchal society.  It's just that it seems like there might actually be some dads out there who need to be told this.

My son, Logan, is not quite two and a half, but I've been changing diapers, feeding him, reading to him, playing with him, hugging him, kissing him, putting him to bed at night, etc. pretty much since he got out of my wife's belly.  Obviously, I deserve some sort of a medal.  No, that's not it.  I'm fairly certain that my dad did all of those things with me as well.  (I kinda have to take his word for it since I don't remember those days so much.)

So, this is obviously some sort of magnificent trait that's been passed down through the Johnson line.  We're clearly a family that produces awesome fathers.  Well, that's not it either because my father-in-law is the same way.  Also, all of my friends who are fathers do the same stuff that I do.

Then what's the big deal?  I'm just doing the same stuff that all dads do, right?  Well, not necessarily.

I've heard a few stories about some dads out there who basically see caring for the child as "her job".  Not only that, but my wife once told me about a guy she knows who got all nervous when his wife left him with their baby for the evening.  "What do I do if she cries?"  He asked.  Umm...figure it out, dude!  You're the dad!  (Again, it's not any of my friends who fit this description.  These are "friends of friends" kinds of stories.)

I'm hoping that these types of dads are in the minority, but it amazes me that there are even any of them out there nowadays.  How the heck do you bring that little baby home and then NOT want to care for it?  It's not exactly like I was fighting my wife to hold on to my son, but I'm pretty certain that if she never let me touch him, I'd start to get pretty upset.  Call it instinct, because I'm fairly certain that there's just as much of my DNA that's invested in my son's welfare as my wife's.

I guess that nothing should really surprise me about people, but a father who's unable and/or unwilling to do the basic are for his child?  It boggles my mind.

1 comment:

Ingrid Johnson said...

Yes, your father did all those things with you, and many fathers of his generation and the one before did it, and many didn't. Just like today.