Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Happy birthday to you!

Okay, my birthday was in November. (As luck would have it, it will be in November this year as well.) Basically, the idea for this blog has been swimming in my head since then, but it never occurs to me when I finally sit down to write. Today it finally came to the front of my brain.

On my birthday, I went to EJ Phair's Brewpub. It was a really cool time, as my wife, sister-in law and her boyfriend, my in-laws, and several of my friends showed up to celebrate with me. They have some decent food there (some kinda blah, some downright tasty) and they have some great beers on tap. (Honestly, I think that their beers are only good, but they usually have great guest beers on tap as well.)

I had quite a few beers, and my friends and I got appropriately boisterous. It looked like everybody was enjoying themselves. As coincidence would have it, apparently other people were born on the 24th of November as well. Some of them even like beer. So, there was a table of partiers right next to mine. The friends and family of the other birthday boy sang the Happy Birthday song to him.

On my way home, I noticed something. My friends didn't sing the song to me.

And you know what? I was really glad that they didn't! The truth is, I hate the Happy Birthday song. I hate singing it, and I hate having it sung to me. I always feel like such a tool while I sit there while everybody sings it. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I try to force a smile, but I just feel awkward. I also hate singing it to others, mainly because I'm not a good singer, but I have a loud voice, and I'm afraid that mine will dominate and everybody will go, "Who the hell is skinning a cat?" (In my own personal hell, I have to work in one of those restaurants where they make the employees sing those really cheesy and stupidly elaborate birthday songs.)

So please, next November 24, wish me a happy birthday, but there's no need to embarass the both of us with that damn song.


flinging dust said...

My husband is the same way and so is his father !!! I'm the one always trying to sneak a trip to the bathroom to tip off the waitstaff at the restaurant when we go out for their birthdays so they can get the jumping, chanting happy birthday thing and they are always ADAMANT about how they don't want it done.

Anonymous said...

lmao! I hate that song too, it's embarrassing and uncreative. The restaurant birthday songs are lame too, however in 2010 they can sing the original happy birthday. That's when it's copyright expires.

Anonymous said...

How do you feel about "Skip around the room"? You know, "skip around the room." Like where "we won't shut up 'till you skip around the room." (repeat)

1. you get to feel special because you get to perform for an audience,
2. you'll know what to do while people are singing (skip around the room, silly - in fact, you'll even know when to stop),
3, AND you don't have to sing (since people know you need to save your breath for powering the skipping).

Problem solved. Start practicing your skipping. You have four (oh!) months (more than seven weeks).

-The Jakes

PS Don't think I didn't notice your lack of protest of the Spanking Machine.

Lance Christian Johnson said...

Jakes, I think you're going to need to do me a favor...etc.

Dan said...

Totally agree. Unfortunately, I have only 4 days until I have to endure the embarassment of that song.
My company does birthdays at work too (we're a pretty small company), so I have to hear the song twice each year. At least when it is sung at work, we purposely do it "Office Space" style -- very non-enthusiastic and monotone. Sometimes we just yell out "Happy Birthday!" -- the abbreviated version. It's all good for a laugh and makes it not so bad...

Ingrid said...

You guys, if it is good enough for Nelson Mandela, it should be good enough for you. Dan, if I had your number, I'd call you just to sing "Happy Birthday" to you for you.