Thank you for your interest in becoming the Republican Vice Presidential nominee. Before we process your application, you must pass the following vigorous test. Please read each question and circle the correct response.*
1. How long ago did dinosaurs live?
a. 50 years ago
b. 4000 years ago
c. Over 65 million years ago
d. Dinosaurs are an invention of the liberal elite
2. What countries are a part of NAFTA?
a. The U.S., Mexico, and Canada
b. America, Mexico, and Alaska
c. 'merica is the greatest country ever
d. I'll get back ta ya nafta I do a little research. (insert wink)
3. Africa is _________
a. a country
b. a continent
c. where the Garden of Eden was probably located
d. The Heart of Darkness
4. What newspapers do you read?
a. The New York Times
b. The New York Post
c. The Paris Business Review
d. All of 'em. (Too many to name any - even one, because then it would look like I'm playing favorites)
5. Which of the following is not a Supreme Court decision?
a. Roe v. Wade
b. Brown v. Board of Education
c. Dred Scott v. John FA Sanford
d. Whopper v. The Big Mac
6. What the difference between a pit bull and a hocky mom?
b. pit bulls are all boys and hockey moms are all girls
c. choke collars
d. Pit Bulls are too dignified to make folksy-sounding jokes that impress the rubes.
7. What is the job of the Vice President?
a. Break ties in the Senate, attend funerals
b. Be in charge of the Senate
c. I don't know
d. Oversee the construction of a new, more powerful, Death Star
*If you are unsure of an answer, go ahead and circle all of them and we'll count it as correct since after all, you did circle the correct one.**
**Or don't circle any at all. That's what a maverick would do!***
***A real maverick doesn't read.